You Have The Right To Admit You’re Stupid.

Wow! This is just amazingly dumb. I can’t think of something quite this dumb that I’ve heard in a while.

We’ve talked about people accidentally incriminating themselves in all kinds of ways, but never have we seen someone do it on purpose. We have now. The story says that the officer was pumping gas, when up walked Matthew Kinard. He just walked right up to the sergeant and asked her if he had any warrants outstanding. She warned him that if she found some, she’d have to arrest him. He then asked her to please not take him to jail if she found outstanding warrants. Uh-huh. Like she would do that. He handed over his license, and let her check.

As she started to check, he couldn’t stop talking about how he’d been arrested before, and he started jumping around. Of course, you can imagine that she found warrants, and arrested him. She also searched his car and found a bunch of drugs. As he headed off to jail, he said a pretty accurate statement. “I am the stupidest criminal in the world.” Yup, sounds pretty fitting. I would understand if he just decided he had to come clean, walked up to her and turned himself in. But the way this was explained, it’s like he just got curious if he had any, and didn’t want to go to jail.

Dude, you really need to keep a low profile next time.

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