Congratulations To Ray, And Whatever The Opposite Of Congratulations Is To The Stone Road Mall

Carin and I would like to take a second to congratulate Guelph Mayoral candidate Ray Mitchell on accomplishing what we believe to be a first for his run. Unless we missed something, he made it through the entire hour and a half candidates discussion on CJOY this morning without once saying “I won’t win,” “it doesn’t matter,” “why bother” or any other variation on the Saunter To Futility 2010 platform on which he appeared to have been running up to this point. Way to go Ray, we knew you could do it! We also couldn’t help noticing that your closing statement sounded a tiny bit like things that we’ve talked about with you here, so we hope that in our own small way we’ve been of some help. It’s better to try and fail than to fail before you’ve even tried, so it’s nice to see you trying.

But turning to the subject of fail, I can’t let this post go bye without mentioning that stupid Stone Road Mall commercial they kept playing.

“Hit the road jack, and keep coming back for more, for more, for more, for more”?

How the hell does that work. If I hit the road, I have to leave. Are you telling me to get out of the mall, only to tell me a second later that I am to repeatedly return, buy more things, and then leave before I’ve been there too long? That doesn’t sound very welcoming to me. but if as Carin suggested the idea is that I hit the road to the Stone Road Mall, then that has to mean that the place to which I am to keep coming back for more would have to be either the road or my home, right? How does that make any sense? I will naturally keep coming back to my home because I live there and I’ll need to use the road in the process, but for more? What more is there? All my stuff is already there! To get more stuff, I’d have to go back to the mall you keep trying to throw me out of…I think. I’m confused, not to mention in no mood to buy things anymore.

In closing, allow me to humbly suggest that those who should be hitting the road should be the marketing department, and further that they no longer be allowed to come back for more, for more, for more, for more. It would do all of us a world of good.

Thank you and good day.

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