>This Content Is Presented At Unacceptably High Volume For The Consuming Impaired

>Anybody with a TV has surely had this experience, probably several times a day.

You’re relaxing, watching your favourite show. You’ve got the volume turned up because for some reason half the stations on the dial broadcast so low you need super hearing to be able to listen clearly. The program you’re watching takes a break and suddenly, BOOM! YOU’RE HIT BY A BLAST OF EARSPLITTING AUDIO THAT SENDS YOU DIVING FOR THE REMOTE AND SCRAMBLING TO COVER YOUR EARS.

Why, many often wonder, does this happen? Well, it’s an advertising trick used to draw people’s attention to commercials, because marketers don’t seem to think we hate them quite as much as we should. They’ve been doing it for years with no thoughts of how angry it makes us, and no qualms about deafening us for the sake of selling another case or two of Coke.

But relief may be in sight. The United States Congress hasapproved a bill that would force advertisers to turn that shit down and if all goes well, make sure that everything is at the same volume as everything else.

Now the question becomes when is Canada going to enact similar legislation? And if I’ve missed something and we already have legal tools at our disposal to control this issue, then the question is why aren’t we fucking using them? I dare somebody from the CRTC to watch the Comedy Network for a few hours and tell me that this isn’t a problem in this country. They’re just one example out of many offenders, and it gets worse and worse by the day.

If regulation is needed, here’s what I propose. Any politician who can introduce a bill in the House of Commons and get it passed into law, contact me when it’s official and I’ll personally buy you a beer, or whatever it is you like to drink within reason. No $400 bottles of anything, just something refreshing to say thanks for your work. I don’t even care if we agree on nothing else politically and you’re the type of person I’d rather sock in the teeth than have a brew with, for doing the world this solid I’m willing to give a little in return. What do you say, shall we make some laws?

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