We have a new excuse given for playing with oneself, this one given by Rafael Escamilla. He was on a plane beside a seventeen-year-old girl. Suddenly she looked up and he had one hand on his laptop and the other hand on his, er, mouse. When she told her dad and they got the police involved, Escamilla said he was rubbing his groin because he had spilled tabasco sauce on his penis. Or maybe it was something similar. Er maybe the tabasco sauce got spilled at breakfast. Breakfast? And it was still there? Do ya not shower? When asked why he didn’t go to the bathroom to solve the problem, he said he didn’t think it would help. Yeah, because if you’re in the bathroom, you don’t have that cute girl to look at and think about while wacking off.
And this guy is a physical therapist. Patients, make sure he hasn’t seen any tabasco sauce before he sees you.