Stephen Solves His Problems With A Shotgun

Well, at least I said there was a chance it was a hoax. Apparently, that site is the Knoxville News-Sentinel’s site where they parody the news. Woops. So nobody shot up his house during a fire or tried to shoot out his chest pains. Well, somebody may have, but it wasn’t this dude.

Here’s warning in advance that this may be a hoax. I saw one place that said “nevermind, is a hoax.” But if you’re going to say that, show me. Give me a link or something. Until then, I’ll have to take the word of the Knoxville News-Sentinel that it is in fact true, even though taking that word frightens me.

Stephen Forthman does not believe in calling 911, ever. He even wears a shirt that proclaims this. He thinks the solution to every problem is to shoot at it, even if the problem is his house being on fire. Neighbours didn’t notice the smoke at first. All they could notice was the bam bam bam of Forthman’s gun along with his large pile of obscenities. By the time neighbours did notice the smoke and call 911, there was no hope for Forthman’s house. Police had to restrain and disarm Forthman while firefighters kept the blaze from spreading.

But apparently, this wasn’t the first time Forthman employed this strategy. Once, he felt chest pains and decided to shoot himself in the torso. Luckily, he had a smarter brother-in-law who took away his gun and called an ambulance.

There is a part of me that thinks this is just too weird to be true, but…well…we do have a weirder than weird tag, don’t we? If someone has more information on why this is a hoax, please let us know. But until I hear something, I have to believe that it happened.

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