He Was Shit-Faced, Now The Officer Is Too.

Ug! Blech! Yuck eeewww icky. Ok I think I can tell the story now.

Paul Andrew Kausalik, a well-known figure at the post office so they say, was out for some fun one night. I guess he had a little too much fun for him to be able to drive, and police pulled him over.

He failed the field sobriety tests, so they took him down to the station to blow. Before he did, he kept asking to use the rest room and then falling asleep in there.

Finally, the officer got frustrated and told him to either take the breath test or refuse. I guess, in a sense he told him to shit or get off the pot.Well, he shit alright, and spat it at the officer!

Yes, you’re reading that right.

Kausalik eventually left the bathroom looking at the floor, walking toward the officer.

Langley asked Kausalik what was in his mouth, and he continued to walk toward the officer, head down and expressionless.

When Kausalik was about 4 feet from the officer, Kausalik looked up, opened his mouth and took a deep breath.

“As I observed what he had in his mouth, I took a step back and began turning my head as he violently spit the contents of his mouth toward my face,” officer Langley wrote in the affidavit. “I felt the matter strike the left side of my face and head.”

Kausalik also had feces on his hands, the affidavit says.

Ugugugugugug! So this fellow took a crap, then put it in his mouth and walked out of the john? Just thinking about that almost makes me wanna ralph.

So, if he’s a well-known figure at the post office, I would learn to recognize him and avoid him. Just think of what could be on his hands!

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