One CD Away From Owning All The Lizards Albums

I got a pretty cool late birthday present. Steve got me two more Austin Lounge Lizards albums! I own all the lizards CD’s but 1 now. What showed up in the mail yesterday were “Highway Cafe Of The Damned” and “Paint Me On Velvet”. Let’s look up when they came out. Highway Cafe of the Damned appears to have come out in 1987. Paint Me On Velvet I think came out in 93.

Alright, this post will be dedicated to Highway Cafe of the Damned, which I think is the better of the two albums, although I like ’em both.

Highway Cafe of the Damned
Hmmm. Is this like Hotel California in a truck stop? He’s led a miserable life, and he’s doomed to stay at the highway cafe of the damned forever. “Waitress, waitresss, bring me some cofins. mouhahahahahah!”

Conhusker Refugee
Um, is that supposed to be Cornhusker refugee? But it’s spelled that way on the Lizards site and in a couple of other places. Maybe it’s supposed to be an accent thing. So…this guy is gay, so had to leave Nebraska, but now wants to go back there, “where the family ate dead chickens every Sunday afternoon.” What a way to put it.

Industrial Strength Tranquilizer
Some have a drink after work. Not this guy. He needs it to help him through the workin’ day.

Wendell The Uncola Man
What the hell? This is the happiest song about a dude deciding to shoot his cheating wife and her lover…except he fails and gets shot. And what’s uncola? I mean I’ve heard of it as Seven Up, but does it have another meaning? Well I guess we can’t ask Wendell.

Acid Rain
This song sort of reminds me of Smoky Mountain Rain by Ronnie Milsap Except this is the placid acid rain. He’s walking through the forests full of dying trees. You can so tell this is 1987.

I’ll Just Have One Beer
or six. or something. How come you’ve got that strange look on your face? I love how he talks about calling her up at 2 in the morning to wake her up and sing to her.

Dallas, Texas
You know a song is going to be awesome when the opening line is “I can’t go back to Nashville, Tennessee, ’cause that’s a place that I’ve never been.” So he doesn’t think much of Dallas. He wants to go there just to see if it sucks worse than losing his girl. Hmm. Is there anywhere in Texas that these fellas like?

Balad of Ronald Reagan
Just awesome. Defies words. Is on Saguaro’s level of awesome. I wonder how many Texans hated this song. I’m sure lots of Texans were fans of big Ron. The lizards hated him worse than Nixon.

When Drunks Go Bad
“When he discovered virtue, he gave vice a dirty name.” It’s the opinion of the regulars at the bar about a reformed drunk. It’s a lowdown cryin’ shame apparently.

JalapeƱo Maria
So he’s hitting on the waitress at a mexican bar? Ok then.

Get A Haircut, Dad.
A kid telling his dad what he thinks of how he looks. I guess dad’s a hippy. I love the word barbershop being sung as if they were a barbershop quartet.

Chester Nimitz Oriental Garden Waltz
Listen to this and know it will chase you, and you will sing it, even if you can’t quite get your head around the tune, and the middle will bug your ears. Tell me, is there a Chester Nimitz Oriental Garden in Fredericksburg, Texas? I have since learned that Chester Nimitz was an admiral in the army, and he was born in Fredericksburg. But what’s with the garden? So much of this I think I would only understand if I lived in Texas. But it did make me look stuff up.

And that is Highway Cafe of the Damned. Awesome. I’m glad I’m getting all their stuff.

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