No Pain, No Gain, No Phone, No Cash, No Weed…

Earl Lee Vogtdefinitely seems to subscribe to the go big or go home philosophy when it comes to smuggling stuff into jail via the trusty ass crack.

According to police, Vogt’s anal inventory included a Kyocera cell phone, an MP3 player, ear bud headphones, marijuana, tobacco and $140 in cash.

Colour me impressed…and a wee bit teary-eyed.

Vogt, who was headed to jail after a narcotics-related conviction, also seems to be quite the eloquent sort.

When questioned by a sheriff’s deputy who thought he was feeling discomfort, Vogt denied being in pain, though he noted, “My ass is bleeding.”

Colour me unsurprised…and a wee bit teary-eyed.

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