This story of a very drunk man trying to light his hearing aid thinking it was a cigarette reminds me of this old joke.
Two elderly men were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Stanley noticed something funny about Joe’s ear. He said, “Joe did you know you’ve got a suppository in your left ear?”
“I have? A suppository?” exclaimed Joe. He pulled it out and stared at it. Then he said, “Stanley, I’m glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is.”