From the worse than bad explanations for doing amazingly stupid things department comes the story of Robert McDonough. The 39-year-old now former Cincinnati police officer was sentenced in February to 8 days of community service, 2 years probation and a $250 fine. He was also banned from going near Sears stores since that’s where the …
Monthly Archives: April 2011
We Just Voted. You Should Go Do That
Carin and I just got back from doing the voting at the local returning office thing for the first time. We missed the advanced polling days and voting on election day as a blind person in our experience nearly never ends well, so returning office it was. The process is easy. Just go in, tell …
Voting At Returning Offices: You Only Have Until Tomorrow
A while ago, when I found out I could vote at the returning office, I thought you could vote every day right up to May 2. I have since discovered I was wrong. I got this feeling in my gut that I should check and make sure I could vote any day, so called Elections …
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Thank You For Donating To The You’re A Gullible Moron Fund
Why do people keep falling for this stuff? Honestly, get a clue or 6. If you want to donate to a church or anything for that matter go ahead, just do it on your own time and not while you’re being annoyed by people following you out of a bank. And for christsakes, letting people …
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Putting The Drops In Cough Drops
Um…ok? The man went into the store at 2501 S. French Ave. at about 10:30 p.m. Thursday and walked to the cough-drop aisle. Police say the unknown man looked around, unzipped his pants and urinated on 110 packages of cough drops. Afterward he walked to the pharmacy and tried to fill a prescription, but didn’t …
Who Knew Computers Sang That Long Ago?
Neato! Apparently this was the first computer ever to sing. And it even had speech in it. in 1961. Pretty cool. I wonder how much work that poor soul had to do to make a 1961 computer sing.
Semen, Semen, Everywhere, But No More In Her Drink
Michael Kevin Lallana, who’s charming dating story you can catch yourself up onhere,has beensentenced. He’s been ordered to spend 6 months in jail followed by 3 years on probation, and he also must register as a sex offender. I’ve got nothing more to add, I’ve made all the jokes I can come up with in …
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Are You There Marty? It’s Me, Guelph
When Marty Burke makes a public statement, you can usually count on hearing a couple of things. One is his version of the amazing ability of the Conservatives to turn any conversation into a misleading diatribe on coalitions, and the other is how much talking he does with the people of Guelph. According to him, …
Land This Plane In Libya Or I’ll Give You A Manicure!
Steve and I have often joked that it’s ridiculous to ban nail clippers on planes. I mean, come on, what are you going to do with a set of nail clippers? Seriously. Well, someone actually tried to use them as a weapon. They didn’t succeed, but they tried. He wanted the plane to land in …
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Give Us Your Tired, Your Poor…But You Can Keep Your Perverts
Police in Tempe, Arizona have finally nabbed the man they say has made a passtime ofmasturbating near a woman who’s job it is to dress up like the Statue of Liberty to promote a business called Liberty Tax. Kevin Robert Theriault, 42, is alleged to have unhuddled his mass at least 3 times before he …
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