You Are Here?

Last Updated on: 21st June 2020, 08:09 pm

Here comes the same speech I make every time, only shorter.

Haven’t done this in a while. No idea how it’s gonna go. Hope it amuses somebody.

And with that out of the way, let’s see what you, the searching public, are thinking.

09 Nov, Tue, 07:42:33
Google:
“Cemetery Allows People to Be Buried By Their Pets”

That sounds scary, and like something movies should be made about.

16 Dec, Thu, 22:26:14
Google:
Could you come over here?

If I beat off over there, I might be able to manage it.

23 Jan, Sun, 19:30:29
Google:
can you come blow

Sure, as soon as I’m finished coming over there for that other guy.

31 Dec, Fri, 17:57:08
Google:
Red stuff comes out of your butt

It does? Mom, why are you warning me about personal things through Google again?

04 Apr, Mon, 11:23:56
Google:
dirt on maggie laidlaw

Thanks for checking in, you investigative journalist in training you. that, my friend, is how it’s done!

08 Apr, Fri, 13:31:58
Google:
why does the vomit comet only drop for 25 cents

We’re just trying to make a little money off of all the coming and blowing we’re doing.

08 Apr, Fri, 11:21:26
Google:
Ashley Kirilow on google maps

NO idea if you ever found what you were looking for, but since I’ve heard nothing about Ashley being killed by some maniac from the internet, I’ll assume not.

15 Apr, Fri, 00:51:48
Google:
what to do if there flasher in your neighbourhood

Flash him back. It’ll throw him off. You might even make a new friend.

28 Apr, Thu, 07:38:28
Bing.com:
vanessa fuck for sex guelph

I don’t know who Vanessa is, but fuck for sex guelph sounds like a fundraiser that’s reached its goal before it’s even started.

28 Apr, Thu, 02:52:27
Google:
i just came in her

Were you over there?

19 May, Thu, 20:11:34
Google:
how do I find out if theres a child molesters pedofile fergus ontario canada

Send your kid to the park and hope for the best?

And…we’re done. That was more fun than I thought it would be.

Enjoy your long weekend, Canadians! I know I will. I’ll enjoy it even more if it decides not to rain so much. Drinking and baseball are always that much better in the sun, so here’s hopin’.

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