Today’s Worst Thing I’ve Ever Seen: The Baby Bullet Infomercial

I just spent 10 minutes of my life watching this Baby Bullet infomercial. NO, I haven’t the slightest clue why. It’s awful even by infomercial standards. Seriously, just watch this acting. And when I say acting I’m not meaning to insult actual actors, I’m just fresh out of synonyms. This woman and her emphasis! of nearly! every! word! has taken away! my capacity for! speech!

And baby blend blade? That’s…unfortunate.

Really, this entire thing is unfortunate. You know how sometimes you watch one of these things and even if the product is kind of stupid and would never work, there’s a small part of your brain that says “hmmm, that sounds neat. Maybe I should…”? That part of your brain can feel free to take itself a break here, because you won’t be needing it. In fact I’m not even sure I want one of the regular Magic Bullets anymore, and I may start calling my friends and family and trying to convince them to return theirs. This really might be that bad.

They never truly had me, but I can’t decide at which point they lost me for good. I’ve got it narrowed down to either when the woman says “it’s got a face on it!”, the part about how the machine makes organic baby food with only the freshest, healthiest ingredients completely discounting the idea that you could literally put anything that’ll fit in there and turn it to mush or the BFF line, which is so far beyond terrible it’s almost great. Thoughts?

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