I Scream, You Scream, I’ll Shoot You Dead If We Don’t Get Some Goddamn Icecream Over Here

Last Updated on: 23rd September 2013, 08:45 am

Thank you Joseph Hayes for doing your part to set a good example for the next generation…of criminals who think the world is shitting on them while owing them everything.

According to a police affidavit, Hayes became upset and began yelling at the victim because “Y’all didn’t save my kids no damn ice cream and cake.”

Hayes then left the party and went to his apartment.

According to the affidavit, he returned with a small black handgun tucked into the back of his pants, approached the host, lifted up his shirt and said, “I ain’t scared to go to jail, just take care of my kids.”

The host then called police and said she was in fear of her life.

“In fear of her life?” Nice editing, chief.

But back to the story, yes, this happened at a childrens birthday party. And no, says Hayes, that wasn’t a gun. It was an object that *looked* like a gun.

Hayes was jailed and his bond was set at $30000. He was scheduled for a chance to tell the look-a-like firearm story in court last week, but at this point I’m not sure how that worked out for him.

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