Sometimes You’re The Windshield, Sometimes You’re A Bug That Looks An Awful Lot Like A Dude

If you’re as oblivious as James John Onak would like the police to believe he is, it’s A. amazing that you’ve never found yourself in this situation before and B. complete horseshit that you ever managed to pass a driving test.

Onak, 49, was arrested last month after killing a pedestrian with his car, then driving around with him a while.

The victim was struck by Onak’s Mazda around 12:30 AM as he sought to cross the roadway.

Onak, police reported, did not stop driving, despite the fact that the victim “went through the front windshield and came to a rest in the front passenger seat of the Mazda.” Onak was later stopped by a cop who noticed that the vehicle “had extensive front-end damage.” And that there was a dead guy riding shotgun.

“The driver advised the deputy that he had hit something on the freeway but was not aware the victim was lying in the passenger seat,” according to a Houston Police Department press release.

Since police believed Onak to be under the influence (I know, I’m surprised too), his blood was drawn. What kind of happy medicine they may or may not have found in his system either hasn’t been released or was left out of the stories I’ve seen, however.

So far, Onak has only been charged with felony accident involving injury, but more may be on the way. I wonder if he’ll notice.

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