I Think I Can Resausagitate Him!

So. One of the fellows to whom you’ve sold heroin seems to have run into some trouble with the product. In fact, he’s overdosing.

My oh my, but this is quite the pickle. Whatever shall you do?

Call for help?

Are you kidding? If anybody comes in here, you’re going down for sure. This is a serious drug dealing outfit you’ve got here, and it’s doubtful the system would be soft on you.

Let people take him to the hospital?

As if, for pretty much the same reason. If they trace his misadventure back to you, you’re done.

Wait, you say to yourself, I think I’ve got it! A little frozen meat down the trousers, that’ll revive anybody!

Er, maybe not.

Jonathan “J.J.” Ward, of Effingham, Ill., bought heroin from Tavis D. Doyle on May 28, 2009, and died a day later inside Doyle’s crack house on Walter Street in East St. Louis, prosecutors at his trial said.

They said Doyle refused to allow witnesses to call for help when Ward overdosed. Instead, he tried to revive Ward by putting frozen meat in his pants and insisting that Ward was still alive and “just needed to sleep it off.”

Others took Ward to Barnes-Jewish Hospital in St. Louis about 12 hours later. He was pronounced dead on arrival.

Doyle has been sentenced to life in prison, where meat in his pants will probably be a frequent happening for him. Only difference is that it’ll be the furthest thing from frozen.

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