Wood You Like To Buy An iPad?

Another day, another utter, utter fool.

According to a Spartanburg County Sheriff’s Office report, Ashley McDowell, 22, told deputies that she was approached by two black males who claimed to have purchased iPads in bulk and were selling them for $300 apiece. After McDowell explained that she only had $180, the duo agreed to sell her the device at a cut rate.

But when McDowell drove home and opened the FedEx box containing the iPad, she instead discovered the wood with the Apple logo. The “screen”–which was framed with black tape–included replicas of iPad icons for Safari, mail, photos, and an iPod. It also had what cops described as a “Best Buy sales ticket.”

Maybe I’m the only one, but if I’m in a parking lot buying iPads out of somebody’s trunk at a cut rate price and that somebody seems awfully desperate to get rid of the things, first of all I’m wondering where my good sense went, but I’m also asking questions and getting the salesman to open the box and let me look at my new toy. You know, in case it’s made of fucking wood and covered in stickers and tape.

and even if it did turn out to be real, odds are it’s not legitimate anyway. Before too long, the police are going to be sniffing around your neighbourhood asking questions about all the stolen computers.

I’d like to propose a new rule. Unless you’re elderly or mentally impaired beyond inherriting stupidity via genetics, you’re not allowed to call for help if something like this happens to you. The hard lesson might do you some good, plus it would avoid wasting police resources when there are people who actually need them.

Ug!

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