I’m in no shape to be making fun of even the most average of marathon runners, but the most average of marathon runners aren’t Rob Sloan.
I’m not even sure it’s proper to call Sloan a marathon runner in this case, since he rode a bus the last 9.6 kilometres and then ran out of the woods near the finish line and acted like nothing was wrong. Unfortunately for him, one of the key parts of the phrase spectator shuttle is the word spectator, and several of them watched him get on and off the shuttle, making denying what he’d done impossible.
I can’t decide if the worst part of his day would be having to come clean, apologize to everybody and pretty much be shamed in public while losing his prize, or having to live with the fact that even though he cheated, the best he could do was 3rd place. Not only will he forever be known as the guy who cheated in the marathon, but he’s got the added benefit of being known as the guy who cheated in the marathon and kinda sucked at it.
The even sadder part is that it probably didn’t have to be that way. It seems like he really can run. He’s done the marathon straight up before, and the day before the busathon he’d won a 10 K race. Ahh, maybe that’s the problem. A marathon is hard enough, so why would you do that? Only he knows…unless he told somebody on the bus.