Excuse Me While I Text My Girlfraud…I Mean Girlfriend. Yeah, Girlfriend

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Well, unless you’re me. But no matter who you are this video is worth a lot, because I don’t think there are enough words in this or any other language to do it the proper justice. Text messaging service allows men to pretend to have a ‘real’ girlfriend.

Uh…yeah.

Text something to a number and it’ll send you back nice, lovey girlfriendy things so you can trick your pals into thinking that somebody’s attracted to you. I guess it could work…until right around the time they notice that she’s always unavailable to be around you and them at the same time but can write back really, really fast. Then you just look like a tool on top of whatever shame it was that made you think a telewoman was a good idea to begin with.

And on the subject of shame, one of the uses somebody in that there video predicted this thing would have is to make single guys in groups of taken people feel better about themselves. It can be embarrassing, they say.

Listen. Single guy in groups of taken people pretty much describes most of my grade school life, and it didn’t bother me at all. If it’s not going to screw you up in high school, you should be good and ready to handle it as an adult, shouldn’t you? It’s all attitude. Single only means miserable if you want it to, no matter how old you are. Some of the most miserable people I’ve ever seen are those happy taken ones. Do they need a number they can text that’ll send them a few minutes of peace and quiet? Wait, that’s actually not a bad idea. Hmmm . . .

But you see my point. Technology is no substitute for a sense of self-esteem and self-confidence, and it shouldn’t be. If you’ve got both of those, it shows. and if it shows, soon you won’t have to be the idiot with the SMS MRS, because there’s nothing more attractive to the real thing than somebody who looks like he’s got his shit together.

Wow, guess I had more words than I thought.

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