If Nothing Else, This Will Prepare Him For A Future Full Of Being Locked Inside Small Spaces

If Brent Jameson Morgan has a day job, let’s hope he holds onto it rather than trying to make a living out of his apparent car theft hobby.

RCMP Cpl. Craig Douglass said Monday that Morgan allegedly jumped into the idling Corvette just as the owner was putting away a charger used to revive the sports car’s dead battery.

The owner watched in disbelief as the suspect rolled up the power windows, locked the power doors and promptly stalled the vehicle.

“Unfortunately for the (suspect), he was not good with a standard transmission and stalled the Corvette when he attempted to reverse out of the driveway,” Douglass said.

The shocked owner wasn’t able to take any action because the man in his car was brandishing bear spray, Douglass said.

With not enough juice in the battery to restart the car, the suspect was trapped inside the Corvette after failing to break the window with the victim’s anti-theft steering wheel lock and an axe in his backpack.

Morgan finally managed to break the window with a screw driver and was trying to make his escape as police were arriving.

Why, you ask, was he going to all this effort to bust out a window? Well, because he’s an idiot, you see.

Fancy as the nice Corvette may be, it, like most other cars, comes equipped with manual door locks. It does this so that if oh, I dunno, the battery dies, you can still get out.

Morgan was arrested and charged with theft, mischief, possession of break-in instruments and possession of a weapon for a dangerous purpose. Police also removed his bicycle from the scene. Yes, he brought a bike to a car theft. Maybe he figured it wasn’t so much a theft as it was trading up, who knows?

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  1. >Not even gonna bother with the some people never learn speech since that's kind of obvious by now. But seriously, one day?

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