Here, Have A Post

This is one of those posts where I start writing without much of an idea of what I’m going to write about and see where it takes me.

It’s been a busy last few days. Friday consisted of some running around, a late lunch with my brother and sister and then seeing the Arrogant Worms again with Carin and that same brother. Carin and I have seen the Worms at least four times, and it’s always great. And after all this time, we finally got to meet them! It’s amazing how much easier it is to meet people when you happen to get into a long conversation with somebody who happens to have one of them as a family friend. Here, have a nice little Christmas song about a fellow you may not have heard of to help get you in the spirit. Christmas is just around the corner, you know. Raaaaaaaaaaaaar! That’ll make sense if you were there, like we were. Speaking of which, the being there like we were thing will only truly make sense if you’re me, Carin or Brad.

Question: With all the advancements we’ve made in so many ways in this world, when is somebody getting around to figuring out toilet paper that your finger isn’t going through? Just wondering, because that sucks. I like surprises, but not that one.

Ok, so where was I? Saturday was a nice birthday breakfast with Carin and my brother, a visit with my grandparents and then an evening filled with Shoe Thieving Christmas cheer. The major takeaway from the night is that Innis and Gunn is some amazingly good beer, I must say.

Sunday was pretty relaxing, but it would have been much more enjoyable had I been able to sleep more than a couple of hours. I did have a strange dream during my little bits of sleep though. The weather fell over. Carin and I were lying in bed and there was a sound like electric guitars ending a song or playing an open chord, I can’t remember which. We both looked at each other and went aww crap! Don’t tell me the goddamn weather just fell over. Guess we’d better get out there and pick it up. So there we were, heading outside, trying to pick up the weather as if it were a Christmas tree of sorts. There was just the two of us out there trying to right things for the entire world, but it was like this wasn’t out of the ordinary. We expected it would just be us. We first tried to get under the weather, but the sun was too hot so we couldn’t touch it. But even if we could have grabbed onto it like we’d hoped, there was so much snow on top of it that we wouldn’t have been able to lift it anyway. I’m not sure how it turned out because I woke up right then, but I’ll assume things went ok since it’s still weathering out there.

I was in a cab the other day and the station on the radio was plugging its commercial free Sundays. The guy said “commercial free Sundays are brought to you by…” and then listed a couple of sponsors. Call me crazy, but isn’t that a commercial?

Yesterday was my birthday. Thanks to everybody for all of the good wishes, by the way. I appreciate it. I was surprised how many happy birthdays I got from Twitter. I think I got more tweets than I did emails, which is sort of odd to me. Not complaining at all, just something I noticed. Maybe there really is something to the idea that email is losing some favour. Not with me, but with other people. Either that or the Twitter folks just like me more. Naaah, it can’t possibly be that.

I learned something yesterday. If you eat at Casey’s and you can prove that it’s your actual birthday, your meal is free. Mom made a birthday boy comment while the waitress was around to see if we could score one of those free desserts like most places will give you, and she said that if I had ID to prove that today was my birthday, it was on the house. I gave it to her, she took it away with her and when she came back with the bill, sure enough my stuff wasn’t on it. I hope for their sake they take the IDs and put them in a system somewhere so people who aren’t as nice as me won’t game the system and ruin it for everyone.

I picked up my gift wrapped Amazon package from the post office the other day. the mail is so weird around here. Not only do you never know when something’s going to the post office as opposed to coming to the door, but half the time you don’t even know which post office it’s going to. And helpfully, that bit of information never seems to come out when you run the little cards through the scanner. The gift wrapping is…interesting. It has flat ribbons on it and the gift is covered in what feels kind of like glossy cardboard. Picture a CD digipak. If you know what that is, you know what this stuff feels like. It’s not what I was expecting. When I think wrapping, I think paper. But hey, as long as it looks ok, who cares, right? I guess I’ll be finding that out soon.

Here’s a question for people who use Amazon more than I do. Why would you bother choosing anything higher than the standard shipping? Whenever I buy from Amazon, I choose the regular and I’ll get my stuff in a day, perhaps two. Do you really need stuff faster than that, and more importantly, how much faster can it get? Let’s say for the sake of argument that my standard shipping always takes two days. If you choose the next level up…let’s call it express since I can’t remember what it actually is, maybe you get your packages the next day. And the third level, we’ll call it priority, what’s the point of that? You have the two day shipping and the one day shipping, so what can it possibly do? Do your things land on your doorstep before the thank you for ordering page finishes loading? Maybe I’m missing something, but it seems like a bit of a scam to me.

Question: Ever have one of those days where you totally want to tell somebody to F off, but you realize that it would actually make things less annoying and complicated to deal with if you didn’t, and then you use your better judgment and do the smart thing and keep your mouth shut even though it’s not as fun? I’m sure you all have. Well, that’s so me today. But even though I’m not going to do it in real life, I here and now send out a gigantic, heartfelt and hearty go fuck yourself to the bane of my existence on this day from all of us here at Vomit Comet World HQ. You deserve it. Merry Christmas…koont. Ok, I feel a touch better now.

So I’m watching TV the other night and I see a commercial for a low dose, daily use version of Cialus. You take it every day like people take the low dose aspirin. The voiceover said something like, “it may not happen every day, but you can be ready when it does.” Naturally, then comes the list of the horrible death that awaits you should you dare ingest the stuff. the first thing mentioned, swear to Christ, was headache. Bit of a mixed message, isn’t it? Take this and be ready to go when she is…unless you’re not up to it. Instead of performing, you’re the one saying “not tonight honey, I have a headache.”

I think that went well…ish. I’ll talk to you all again soon. Oh, and before I forget, happy Hanukkah too all of our Jewish readers. Jewish people read websites, right? I’m not up on all these weird foreign cultures and customs that the world has now. Seriously, all the best of whatever season it is that you celebrate to all of you. Thanks for reading, especially if you made it through this garbage. We appreciate all of you.

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  1. >Standard shipping gets your stuff there in two days? Wow. I always get free super saver shipping so I always use standard and I never get my stuff in less than a week.

    And picking up weather? Wow.

  2. >Standard shipping is always really fast, no matter if I order things from the Canadian or Amaerican Amazon. I wonder if it depends on the sorts of things you order and who Amazon is selling them for? Most of what I use Amazon for is sold directly by them, so that could speed things up.

    And yeah…picking up the weather. I have a lot of weird dreams like that but I can hardly ever remember them. I wish I could, they'd make for some good posts.

  3. >I usually buy directly from Amazon as well. No idea why it takes longer here haha! Maybe because I usually order more than one thing? No idea.

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