I Have An Emergency! I Seem To Be All Out Of Brain Cells!

Ahh, the people with whom we share this world. Chatham, Ont. police unveil silliest 911 calls of 2011. Yes, all of these are from one town. A town which, it should be pointed out, is in the same general area where you should probably just say no to the holiday punch.

1. A woman called during a massive February snowfall to complain that snowplows were making too much noise.
2. A 17-year-old wanted advice on whether he could disown his mother because she wouldn’t give him money.
3. A man called police after a mysterious roll of carpet appeared on his lawn. (He later called to cancel when he learned his wife had placed it there.)
4. A woman called after being denied entry into a nightclub and wanted police to prove she was legal drinking age.
5. A man called for an ambulance for a friend, and assured the friend he would “get rid of the dope” while dispatchers were still on the line.
6. A man called to alert police to a “small lion” crossing the road, assuring dispatchers that he had not smoked any drugs that day.
7. A woman asked to have a man removed from her residence when he would not switch sides of the couch that they were sleeping on.
8. A man called police claiming his car had been stolen. When police found it in his driveway, he claimed the suspects had returned the stolen car and fled. It was later determined that the man had seen a car similar to his own drive by his window and jumped to conclusions.
9. A couple called police over an argument about which video game console they would play – an Xbox 360 or a Nintendo Wii.
10. A woman called because her cats ate her hamburger and she wanted another one.

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