You’re Gonna Bite The Biscuit, Son! Not That You Could, Since You Let Them Burn To A Crisp!

Question: How does a quiet breakfast with the family turn into dad tustling with you, biting your finger, smashing a platter over your head and then threatening to kill you with the meat cleaver he’s pressing against your neck?
Answer: Your dad is Harry A. Woods and you didn’t watch the damned biscuits and now they’re burned, that’s how.

According to police (and a criminal information), Woods became angry after the biscuits were burned in the oven of his East Alton home. The biscuits had been placed in the oven by Woods’s teenage daughter, who told family members to keep an eye on them before she departed for a relative’s home.

That reminder, however, apparently fell on deaf ears. Which upset Woods, who got into an argument with his son, who apparently was less concerned about the singed baked goods. The younger Woods, Keshner reported, told his father, “They’re just burnt biscuits, we’ll make more.”

We’ll make more isn’t the sort of thing you tell a 6 foot, 350 pound hungry 43-year-old man, so the fight was on.

Woods was arrested and charged with aggravated battery and is being held in lieu of $20,000 bond. Are you kidding? Judging from the reaction, $20,000 is probably a week’s worth of groceries for this guy!

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