>So, What Are You In For? Pretty Much Everything

>I have no idea how I’m going to tag this thing, but I still must share the impressive tale of the crime spree of William Todd.

Nobody knows why he decided to hop on a Greyhound bus to Nashville, but he sure made a day of it. In about 9 hours, Todd is believed to have committed more than 10 felonies.

He started by breaking into a business called the Slaughterhouse. He helped himself to a Taser, a revolver, a shotgun and a T-shirt before shooting the place up and burning it to the ground.

He then happened to run into 4 people on their way out of a bar. He held them at gunpoint, tased one, pistol whipped another and stole their money and credit cards.

All this work would surely make a man hungry, so Todd carjacked a taxi at gunpoint and headed off to buy some food with his new plastic.

All filled up and ready to go again, Todd’s next stop was a Walmart where he spent $199 of somebody else’s money.

At 6 a.m., he made his way to the Hotel Indigo. While there, he decided to swerve off the simple robbery path and pay tribute to some of the stranger folks who have found their way onto these pages over the years. He broke into a law office, ransacked it, then took a dump on a desk and spread some of it on a few framed law degrees.

With that load off his mind, it was time to make some more money.

Todd knocked on several hotel room doors. He pretended to be a female member of the housekeeping staff to gain entry, but would then rob the occupants at gunpoint. During at least one of these heists, he is said to have cried the entire time.

Now when you’ve caused as much trouble as Todd had up to this point, it’s logical to think that perhaps the cops are on your trail. So…time for a disguise. Shaving his head fit the bill, so that’s what he did before heading out on another adventure in his stolen cab.

That adventure, it turns out, was crashing the vehicle into a parking garage.

Uh-oh, now how’s he supposed to get around?

After an hour and a half of pondering this predicament, he decided to hail a new cab and head for Opryland. Once there, he held the driver at knifepoint because hey, why not?

And it’s at this point that things came to an end.

Police finally caught up with Todd, who was hiding out on top of Opryland. But he wasn’t just hanging out on the roof, o no. He had taken shelter in a water-cooling vat, submerged up to his nose.

He’s been charged with 11 felonies, and that could just be the beginning of his trouble. According to police, he’s also wanted by the State of Kentucky, but presumably not for anything this out there.

If there’s ever been a case like this before, I don’t think I’ve seen it. Talk about making the most out of your life of crime.

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