Monthly Archives: June 2012

This one’s not exactly topical anymore, but it got me. A husband and wife were watching the news on television: The devastation at the World Trade Center; the videos of different countries around the world crying with Americans over the events of the past few weeks; reporters updating and attempting to analyze political strategy; President […]

Goldie was sitting on a beach in Florida, attempting to strike up a conversation with the attractive gentleman reading on the blanket beside hers. “Hello, sir,” she said, “Do you like movies?” “Yes, I do,” he responded, then returned to his book. Goldie persisted. “Do you like gardening?” The man again looked up from his […]

Three couples, two straight and one gay, were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship. They all drowned, and soon they’re all standing in line before St. Peter. First up was one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly and said to the man […]

*Q: Why doesn’t god like cheesecake? A: Because he doesn’t exist. *The other day, I bumped into a friend I’d not seen in ages. “Are you still seeing that girl Helen,” I asked? “Nah,” he replied. “It’s a sad story. She bled to death from gonorrhea.” “You don’t bleed to death from gonorrhea,” I said. […]

This young swimmer from the Australian Olympic team manages to sneak his new girlfriend, a gorgeous Danish gymnast, into his room at the Olympic Village. Once she’s inside, he quickly switches out all the lights and they rapidly disrobe and leap onto his bed in a flurry of athletic achievement. After about twenty minutes of […]

A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major status figures in Rome, Italy. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn’t have any snails for this dinner party, so she asked her husband to […]

The bartender asks a man sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have?” “A scotch, please,” he answers. The bartender hands him the drink and says “Ok, that’ll be five dollars.” “What are you talking about,” the man asks? “I don’t owe you anything for this.” A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, says to […]