Golfing Hit Man

Three guys at a classy golf course are waiting for their friend to show up in order to complete their foursome.

After waiting several minutes and at risk of losing their tee time, the three notice an oddball standing by the clubhouse all by himself, carrying a bag of clubs.

The three of them look at each other, shrug their shoulders and figure, “Why not?”

They ask the stranger if he would like to play with them, and with a thick Italian accent, he agrees.

While playing on a green, one guy asks, “So, what do you do for a living?”

The Italian guy responds, “I’m a hit man.”

Not believing him, they begin to laugh.

“I’m not kidding,” he replies. “Take a look at my sniper rifle here in my bag, it costs $1000 every time I pull the trigger.”

The three golfers begin admiring the rifle and the huge scope that is on top. The first guy jokingly says, “I bet I can see my house from here with that thing!”

As a friendly gesture, the hit man hands him the gun and says “Here, take a look.”

The first guy takes the gun and looks toward his house through the scope, just past the next hole.

“Hey!” he yells while looking through the scope, “My wife is in bed with the neighbor…and they’re kissing!”

He asks the hit man, “How much for you to pull the trigger?”, the hit man replies, “$1000.”

The guy then yells, “Okay, I’ll give you $2000; I want you to shoot my neighbor in the nuts for obvious reasons and I want you to shoot my wife in her mouth for always nagging me!”

With that, the hit man takes his rifle, loads it, and takes aim toward the guy’s house.

He is sitting there for a long time, just looking through the scope.

The guy yells, “What the hell are you waiting for!?”

The hit man says, “Hold on here, I’m about to save you a thousand dollars!”

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8 comments
  1. Wait, I don’t get it?
    It seemed like it cut off mid joke?
    Can you please explain? lol

    1. Nothing cut off. It’s a BJ joke. He wants the guy shot in the balls and his wife shot in the mouth. It’s $1,000 a shot.

  2. Oh ok! Now I get it!
    Sorry, I’ve been a bit brain frazzled and blone this last week or so..
    Thanks for explaining lol

    1. No worries. these things happen.

    2. Heh heh, you said blown.

  3. I forgot to subscribe. I need to comment again, but I have nothing to say. I guess I blew my load on the last comment…

    1. Why yes Carin, I do indeed see what you did there.

  4. HAHAHA, that blown was supposed to somehow be blonde lol Whoops? 🙂

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