*Q: What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today?
*Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an altar boy.
*Q. Why do women call it PMS?
A. Mad Cow Disease was taken.
*Q. What’s the definition of a mixed feeling?
A. Watching your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
*Q. Do you know how the Scottish practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint an X’s on the back of the sheep that kick.
*Q: What’s the difference between purple and pink?
A. Your grip.
*Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
*Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.
*A guy goes to a Halloween party with a girl on his back.
“What on earth are you?” asks the host.
“I’m a snail,” says the guy.
“But…you have a girl on your back,” replies the host.
“Yeah, he says…. “that’s Michelle!”