A Few Quick Ones

*Q: What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today?
A: Drowning.

*Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an altar boy.

*Q. Why do women call it PMS?
A. Mad Cow Disease was taken.

*Q. What’s the definition of a mixed feeling?
A. Watching your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

*Q. Do you know how the Scottish practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint an X’s on the back of the sheep that kick.

*Q: What’s the difference between purple and pink?
A. Your grip.

*Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

*Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.

*A guy goes to a Halloween party with a girl on his back.

“What on earth are you?” asks the host.

“I’m a snail,” says the guy.

“But…you have a girl on your back,” replies the host.

“Yeah, he says…. “that’s Michelle!”

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