The Lights Aren’t On, And Nobody’s Home, Either

I shouldn’t have to tell any of you this, but since this kind of crap happens with such stunning regularity, I shall.

No, people of Atlanta or anywhere else, President Obama will not pay your utility bills for you if you give the nice man on the phone your Social Security number and banking information. He just won’t. Trust me.

Washington said she thought Obama passed a law that provided credits to help her and others pay their utility bills, she told Thomas.

Investigators said the scammers ask for people’s Social Security numbers and bank routing numbers. The victims are then given a fake routing number to a bank and the money routed will go toward paying their utility bills. Washington thought after the money had been routed, her bills had been paid.

Washington, who based on what you’re about to read ranks on the IQ scale somewhere between dryer lint and bag of hammers, is now calling her friends to apologize for making a mistake. Yes, because she got a bunch of them in on it and they’ve been taken as well.

“I didn’t think it was a scam because they are not asking for personal information,” she told a reporter who I hope wanted to hit her with a brick.

Not asking for personal information? Listen, lady. When you get back the money you lost on this one, I’ve got some not in any way prying questions I’d like to ask you. And when I’m done doing that, you’re all welcomed to my new luxury home. I’ll have my new driver pick you up in my new tour bus. Don’t ask me where I’m getting the money for this, that’s personal. It’s just between me and young Loneiyce Washington here.

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