Hey Ladies, Wanna See My Rockwood?

It seems there’s another indecent exposure enthusiast on the loose in the Guelph area. NO, it’s not me, assholes!

So since it would be nice if the police catch this creep and because there’s rarely a bad time for another wooded area joke, here’s the story.

The incidents have taken place at the Rockwood Conservation Area and at the Jesuit Centre just north of Guelph. There have been approximately a dozen incidents since the beginning of this year.

OPP reports the man typically approaches women from brush or wooded areas, asks the time and then returns to the same area from which he came. The incidents typically take place during daylight hours and there has so far been no physical contact between the suspect and victims.

The man is described as late 40s to early 50s, 5’9” to 5’11”, Caucasian, clean shaven, reddish brown hair balding on top, 180 to 200 pounds with a chubby build and no accent or visible tattoos.

Police say that the man has been naked at the time of each incident, so if he does have tattoos, I don’t want to know where they are.

They also advise that people not approach the man if they see him. That shouldn’t be too hard since from the sounds of it he’s the one doing most of the approaching. But if you do see him, call 911. You can also report incidents or tips (so to speak) to Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-8477.

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