United Breaks Geography

I was thinking to myself the other day that it had been a while since United Airlines broke anything. Have they finally started to shape up or have I just not been on the ball enough, I wondered. Of course, this being United, the answer is a resounding column B. An English Springer Spaniel named …

Angry Drunks On A Plane, Or Roger Stephens Goes Flying

Someone else has gone all Roger Stephens on a screaming kid, but apparently Joe Hundley decided to raise the bar by also being a drunken racist. The boy’s mother, Jessica Bennett, 33, told the FBI their flight was on final descent into Atlanta when her 19-month-old son started to cry due to the altitude change. …

Don’t Get Too Comfortable, Nickel And Dime

I knew this would happen, but I’m not sure I’d have guessed it would be this fast. The corpse of the Canadian penny hasn’t even finished cooling off yet and already there are folks calling for the end of not only the nickel, but the dime as well. The arguments are similar to the ones …

Get This, You Guys! Anti-piracy Efforts Don’t Work! Who Knew?

While basically anyone with simultaneous walking and gum chewing abilities should know this already, there are still plenty of folks who don’t. Unfortunately, they’re usually the ones in charge of making key decisions and the people who have those folks in their back pockets. But in the hopes that maybe I can help even one …

People Better At Music Than You: Tina The Van Halen Playing 14-Year-Old

This is completely ridiculous. And for a change, I mean that in the nicest of ways. What you’re about to watch is somebody playing the absolute king jesus hell out of Eddie Van Halen’s Eruption solo. You know, the one you hear right before the cover of You Really Got Me. But it’s not just …

No Officer, That Wasn’t A Ringtone. It Was Just Me Farting

If you’re planning on smuggling a phone into jail with you via the good old Hershey Express, always always always remember to turn it off before packing it. Remember, not expecting a call doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not going to get one. The Agence France-Presse reports that the 58-year-old convict had concealed the phone, along …

I’ll Beat It On Your Floor If I Want To, I Don’t Give A Crap

Whatever substances Gregory Matthew Bruni may have been on, he can have ’em. I want no part of anything that would cause me to spend my evening the way he did. Let’s Recap The Allegations Against Bruni: 1.Got naked, climbed onto the Lands’ roof. 2.Attacked Tony Land by jumping on him and hitting his shoulder. …

You Rang? Yes, You Definitely Rang

Florin Constantin thought he had come up with a pretty good plan. Wearing some custom-made leggings under his pants, he headed out to the Waterfront bar in Norwich, England and proceeded to stuff them full of cell phones belonging to the pub’s customers. Not bad, right? Well yes, aside from one not so small detail …

Too Bad She Doesn’t Like Pickles, Because She’s Sure In One Now

I don’t quite understand what Tina Drouin’s problem is. It’s not like this woman was trying to fill her sub with tomatoes. that would be a beating. Police say Drouin started loudly complaining, used a profanity, and demanded a refund. “She couldn’t be pleased. She was very disoriented. She seemed like she was under the …