I’ll Beat It On Your Floor If I Want To, I Don’t Give A Crap

Whatever substances Gregory Matthew Bruni may have been on, he can have ’em. I want no part of anything that would cause me to spend my evening the way he did.

Let’s Recap The Allegations Against Bruni:
1.Got naked, climbed onto the Lands’ roof.

2.Attacked Tony Land by jumping on him and hitting his shoulder.

When they say jumping on, they mean from the roof.

3.Ran into Lands’ house, knocked down a TV and spilled the contents of a vacuum on the floor.

4.Dodged bullets fired by LaDonna Land.

5.Masturbated in the living room.

Keep in mind that this is happening chronologically, so this fellow did indeed get shot at and then pull out his own gun in response, if you will.

6.Rubbed clothes on his face in the Lands’ son’s room.

7.Defecated on the floor in two places.

8.Drank the contents of the vacuum.

Well, all that craziness would surely make a guy thirsty, I’d think. It was noted, however, that after drinking the wet dry vac juice off the floor, he did spit it out again. He’s not crazy.

Police arrived and managed to take him into custody. Next, they planned to take him to hospital for tests to determine what could potentially be influencing his behaviour. They also charged him with a slew of offenses, including criminal mischief, battery, occupied burglary and resisting arrest without violence.

Anything I could say beyond this point would add about nothing to what you’ve already red, so I’m just going to go ahead and check on the meatloaf. No, that’s not a euphemism for acts similar to those committed by young Gregory here.

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