But Officer, All I Did Was Give Her A Coors Light To Say Sorry For The Misunderstanding

Note to Timothy Paez: The expression piss on it is just another way of saying ahh forget it, like you should have done when the nice young lady at the bar rejected your advances. It is not, I repeat not something to be treated literally.

The woman told police she was standing next to the bar at Shooters Grill and Bar, 1801 13th St., about 11:45 p.m. Saturday when a man — later identified as Timothy Paez, 22 — came up behind her and put his arm around her. The woman turned around and said, “Um, really?,” and Paez took his arm off her, according to the report..
According to police, a few seconds later, the woman said she felt some sort of liquid hitting her leg. She initially thought Paez was spilling his beer on her, but when she turned around she told police she saw Paez with his penis exposed urinating on her leg and the front of the bar.

He actually was spilling his beer on her, when you really stop and think about it.

And I’m not sure how you’re supposed to pronounce this fellow’s name, but my screenreader says it like Pees, which is awesome.

Whatever you call him, he was escorted from the bar by employees who flagged down a nearby police officer. The officer noted that Paez appeared to be intoxicated and that most of the answers he was providing during questioning were “unintelligible.” Based on what could be understood, Paez did admit to urinating on somebody, but he wasn’t sure who. In the end, he was taken to jail where he hopefully had time to figure it out.

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