I Now Pronounce You Unconscious, You Dick

Look at that, it’s a wedding and a food feud all in one!

The fight erupted when the best man pushed into the buffet queue to get food for his son, which is said to have upset uncle-of-the-bride Hughes.
The 53 year old lorry driver is said to have then hit best man, and brother-of-the-groom, Danny Smethurst, 30, and the bride’s father Kevin Coleman, 52.
Ten police vehicles had to be sent to Caldecott Hall hotel in Fritton near Great Yarmouth, Norfolk, as angry wedding guests fought in the car park outside the reception.
Even the bride’s mother Liza Coleman, 47, was knocked to the ground during the scuffle last Friday.
Bride Karyssa Smethurst, 28, of Gorleston, Norfolk, who is eight months pregnant, then had to drive her sister Krystel to hospital after an ambulance failed to turn up.

The groom wasn’t much for sugar coating his description of things for the newspaper, which is kind of great. I’d have a hard time not busting up laughing were I this reporter.

“Curt thought he was pushing in the queue, and called him “a fat c***”. My brother just told him there was no need to use that sort of language.”

That’s possibly the best combination of honesty and politely describing something I’ve ever heard.

“People were them dancing and enjoying themselves and everything was fine until it was time to leave,” He continued. “Curt was heard saying that he should never have come to the wedding as it was s*** and the food was crap.
‘He was just trying to belittle my wedding so my brother Danny said, ‘Why don’t you just f*** off then you d*******’. Danny then got punched.”

Once Danny got punched, things degenerated into the scene described above.

Uncle Kurt was arrested for assault, but later freed on bail. In a rare case of somebody in a Comet story actually learning something, he issued a brief no comment through his wife when asked to tell his side of the story. Good call, Uncle Kurt. Good call.

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