Land Of The Somewhat More Free

Once again, the Onion says what we should all be thinking.Nation Celebrates What Is, Technically Speaking, Progress WASHINGTON—Following two Supreme Court rulings today that allowed homosexuals in California to wed, extended federal benefits to same-sex married couples, but stopped short of calling gay marriage constitutional, the nation celebrated what is, technically speaking, progress, sources confirmed. […]

Boy, Are These Jewels Ever Heavy. I’ve Gotta Lie Down

We’ve seen stories of burglars falling asleep on the job before, but this is a little bit different. Domonique Pinkard and Julian Evangelist broke into a house intending to take things. While Evangelist ran off with a TV, some clothes and various other items, Pinkard managed only to pocket a few hundred dollars worth of […]

Just Wait Until He Has To Come Up With Bail Money

Terminally cheap? Terminally foolish? Terminally trapped in a life of crime? I’m not sure, but when you’re resorting to using a stolen credit card to pay the $1 of the $16 fingerprinting fee you don’t happen to have on you to the Sheriff’s records department, you’ve got to be at least one, if not all […]

Canada’s Wireless Market Is Pretty Awful, And I’m Not Sure How Much The New Rules Will Help

As you surely know if you stop around here with any degree of regularity, I could spend hours rattling off everything that’s wrong with the state of media and communications in Canada. And even though it’s one of those things I’ve gotten unfortunately good at, in doing so I could still probably miss an issue […]

Anybody Want To Go To A Barenaked Ladies And Ben Folds Five Concert Tomorrow?

Sorry for the short notice, but it’s worth a try, I figure. Our old pal the Shoe Thief has two tickets to tomorrow night’s (Thursday, July 11th, 2013) Barenaked Ladies and Ben Folds Five concert at the Molson Amphitheatre in Toronto, but unfortunately it looks like he and his guest won’t be able to use […]

But Officer, All I Did Was Give Her A Coors Light To Say Sorry For The Misunderstanding

Note to Timothy Paez: The expression piss on it is just another way of saying ahh forget it, like you should have done when the nice young lady at the bar rejected your advances. It is not, I repeat not something to be treated literally. The woman told police she was standing next to the […]

He Should Have Said He Wasn’t Gonna Do It Because It Wouldn’t Be Prudent

Nope, I’m not even gonna try to explain this. I subscribe to the police theory that there may have been drugs involved, however. When you cut off your penis because George Bush told you to, it’s not much of a leap to assume that either drugs you have taken or should be taking were probably […]

The CRTC Lets Bell Buy Astral, Sells Canadians Down The River Again

Update: I still don’t have a percentage of the Canadian radio market that even more monstrous Bell holds following the sale, but have a look at the list of stations they’re taking over. Remember, this is just new stuff they own now. It’s not a list of stations they already had. Competitive broadcasting system, my […]