Just Admit You Did It, You Pussy

What are the chances that the same cat that’s telling James Anthony Shroyer to rob banks, steal cars and run down the cops is the same little 4-pawed criminal bastard who downloaded all that child pornography onto the computer of poor, unsuspecting Keith R. Griffin all those years ago?

During an interview with troopers at the Uniontown barracks, Shroyer told them a “cat told him to take the car and get the money with the plastic gun.” According to a criminal complaint, Shroyer told the officers he took the Cavalier when the same cat “jumped up on the car and told him to steal it.”
Shroyer told the troopers he rammed the patrol car, according to the complaint, because the “cat was telling him to hit the cops.”

He’s been sentenced to prison for up to five years, during which time he will be undergoing a mental health assessment. Believe it or not, it was one that he asked for during his trial, telling the judge that he’s been seeing things and hearing voices. Yup, even he isn’t buying his talking cat story.

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