Not The Sharpest Arrow On The Jail Roof

Smuggling marijuana to your friends in prison by way of an arrow fired into the exercise yard is one of those best worst ideas. Best because it saves you having to cram it up your exit hatch and risk having it discovered during a search, but worst because if your aim is off, you could hurt somebody or it could land on the roof, drawing much unwanted attention.

The latter is what happened to David Wayne Jordan of Bellingham, Washington. He attached a few grams of weed to an arrow, then stepped out of his truck and fired it towards the jail, according to a witness who just happened to be one of the Whatcom County Sheriff’s Office’s civilian employees. But unfortunately he missed his target, sending the package onto the roof rather than into the yard.

Naturally this drew some of that unwanted attention we were just talking about, and officers were quickly on scene. But that’s ok, because Jordan was ready for them. He was not, he explained, doing anything shady or out of the ordinary. He was simply hunting squirrels. Shockingly, this excuse was not enough for officers, who decided they needed to ask a few more questions. Unfortunately for Jordan why do you need arrows full of weed to hunt squirrels was among them, since he apparently had no good answer. I’m disappointed he didn’t go with the old well, if I miss them they’ll eat what’s in the bag, then come down looking for nuts when they get hungry and I can bag them at closer range defense. Maybe next time.

As for this time, Jordan is being held in the very same jail he shot at on suspicion of introducing contraband to a corrections facility, resisting arrest and obstructing law enforcement.

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