Why Does Dry Dog Food Have To Smell So Friggin Terrible?

I’m not really that much of a dog person, which is one of the reasons why I don’t do the guide dog thing. but that said, I love Carin’s dogs and have gotten along great with all of them. It’s like the way a lot of us love babies. They’re so cute and snugly and fun to play with, and when they shit themselves somebody else gets to deal with it. Ug…dog crap! There’s another reason why I don’t do the guide dog thing. Ask Carin. Just the mention of the stuff is sometimes enough to threaten to turn me into a barf cannon.

Speaking of barf cannons, a different source of barf cannonerry leads me back to why I started writing this in the first place.

Being the nice guy that I’ve managed to fool a few people into thinking I am, I do help Carin out with dog things when called upon. When Trix was retiring, I took care of her while Carin was at work. Amazingly she never dropped a dirty bomb on me. Not sure how or why she managed it, but thank you, Trix. You’re the man. Hopefully Tansy will be as considerate of my pathetically weak stomach when the day comes.

Ok, why do I keep drifting back to dog shart? Get on track, man!

One of my other duties has been feeding (especially with Trix) and moving those big bags of food around and dumping them into Carin’s handy bins for her because she’s little and it’s easier if I do it. and good king hell on a pole, that stuff wreaks! No matter what kind it is, it just smells so awful! I know the dogs don’t care. They really have no right to care. I’ve seen them literally eat a stranger’s crap off of the ground. If they can do that, they can eat what’s supposed to be chicken or lamb or rice or beef or whatever else they claim is in that dry dog food. But why does it smell so terrible? If I bought chicken or beef that smelled like that, I’d be calling up the CFIA and demanding a recall. Chickens might smell that way if you left them on the side of the road in mid July, but ones you’re supposed to ingest shouldn’t be doing that.

Nothing will ever hold a candle to Trixie’s special fiber food though. If you can imagine what it would smell like if Cheezies could rot, multiply that by about 4, throw in some regular dog food smell and you’re getting the idea. It was so bad that most days I would have to plug my nose while I was feeding her.

So now I will ask again, since I know there are lots of dog lovers who frequent this place. Is there a good reason why dry dog food smells the way it does? Does it have to? Or do all of these companies hate me without having met me? I’d love to know.

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