United Breaks Hygiene

If just one airline is going to forget to bring toilet paper along on a 10-hour flight, you just know that that airline is gonna be United.

That’s pretty gross and terrible, you’re saying. I wonder how those poor people managed all that time without proper shit tickets.

Well, the United crew, helpful and resourceful bunch that they are, announced to the passengers that it would be great if they could please try to use items from their carry-on luggage should a situation arise. but failing that, they did at least stock the bathrooms with cocktail napkins that said “Fly By The Tips Of Your Fingers” on them. I don’t know what that means, but it sounds like a rather poor piece of lavatory guidance.

United issued an apology, in which they explained that there was concern that the flight would have been delayed had they taken the time to gather supplies. Yes, even United’s apologies are ridiculous. I wouldn’t wipe my ass with an apology letter like that…or maybe I’d have no choice.

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