Black Friday Body Count: Nobody Used A Taser. It Could Have Been Another Brand

The nice people in PR say things weren’t so bad, there was no Taser and no need to be alarmed, but a video and some witnesses make it seem a whole lot like a woman stun gunned another woman during an early morning fight at the Franklin Mills Mall in Philadelphia. “It started out, one […]

Black Friday Body Count: Save Money, Get Trampled

Oh hey, somebody got trampled. Guess where. Reports of an ambulance at Wal-Mart came in during the evening hours and the New Boston Police Department confirmed a report of a female being trampled at the store. Immediate details of the incident were not available, but the dispatcher confirmed a female was being treated for injuries […]

Black Friday Body Count: Missing Dinner With Your Family Is Wrong, Says A Woman Missing Dinner With Her Family

Remember when I said that people kind of suck? Just listen to this woman who lined up on goddamned Wednesday to make sure she didn’t miss anything on Thursday. Anything but Thanksgiving with her family, I should say. For many retailers this year, Black Friday started on Thanksgiving Day. Luck called it “Blue Thursday” because […]

Black Friday Body Count: Thanks For Comin’ Out, Lying Spokeslady

Forgot to note this laughable pile of corporate horse nuggets when posting the broken wristed California cop thing. Walmart corporate officials said safety of customers and employees is the greatest importance. “The fight at the Rialto store was an unfortunate and isolated incident to an otherwise very safe event,” corporate spokeswoman Betsy Harden said. “Providing […]

Black Friday Body Count: Another Officer Injured, And What In The Christ Is Red Thursday

We’ve got another police officer injury, this time out of Rialto, California. The officer’s wrist was broken as he tried to break up a fight between 2 men outside the store. While that was happening, 2 of the classic merch melees on which Black Friday is built were taking place inside. All of this and […]

Black Friday Body Count: 2 More Walmart Riot Videos

Time for a couple videos. First up, Black Friday Madness – Fort Worth, TX Watch as people plow over each other and display shelves in pursuit of…something or other. Oh, and be sure to listen for the woman with the heart problem. Next, something amazing but in no way surprising. Black Friday 2013: Walmart Kicked […]

Black Friday Body Count: Sometimes The Target Is You

Shopper carrying TV home from Target shot in Las Vegas I’ve never been shot in the Las Vegas, but I bet it hurts. Police Lt. David Gordon says the victim was carrying the TV at an apartment complex when a suspect fired warning shots, prompting him to drop the appliance. Gordon says the robber snatched the […]