One Of These Days I Swear I’ll Figure Out How To Lose This Bet And Still Win It

As many questions as this story raises, I’m feeling pretty confident that it does answer at least one. I say this because there’s no way you’re reading it and not feeling like you’ve got a bit of a handle on why Brent Todd Friest’s 8-year-old son might have been visiting a psychologist.

St. Paul police said Brent Todd Friest, 39, a Radcliffe, Iowa, pig farmer, was consulting with the specialist Wednesday at United Hospital when he commented that “it must be hard getting a date being a psychologist,” the St. Paul Pioneer Press reported Friday.
The psychologist ignored the comment, but Friest soon told his son to leave the room so he could tell a “dirty joke” to the psychologist.
“I bet you a dollar I can play with your boobs without touching them,” Friest allegedly told the doctor.
He then allegedly fondled the psychologist’s breasts with his hands and gave her the dollar.

And that, my friends, is what it would be like if every bad pick-up line met up with every profoundly ill-advised drunk guy attempt at funniness and had a big ‘ol convention.

You’ll be surprised to learn that not all women find this sort of courtship irresistible, and that one of them just so happened to be a freshly groped psychologist. She called hospital security and the police, who arrested Friest.

When questioned, Friest didn’t deny what happened and even admitted that perhaps a reconsideration of his comedy career may be in order.

“He admitted that his conduct was inappropriate and that he thought it was humorous at the time,” the complaint said.

He was charged with fifth-degree criminal sexual conduct and held in lieu of $1000 bail, which he probably could’ve paid if he wasn’t such a terrible gambler.

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