A Sailor, A Pirate, And How Much Did You Say That Package Massage Was Going To Be?

I’ll get to the joke in a second, but first I need to tell you what happened when I opened that discount massage package email.

How much do you suppose the discount was? Come on, guess. Of all the numbers in the world they could have chosen, they went with 69% off! I swear I’m not making that up. Don’t believe me? Fine, see for yourself. Looks like they added some words to the version on the site to make it look less like what I’m trying to make it look like, but I still think that maybe my sleepy brain is smarter than it seems.

And now, here’s that joke I promised.

A sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate’s peg leg, hook, and eye patch, the sailor asks, “So, how did you end up with the peg leg?”

The pirate replies “We was caught in a monster storm off the cape and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pullin’ me out, a school of sharks appeared and one of ’em bit me leg off.”

“Blimey!” said the sailor. “What about the hook?”

“Ahhhh…” mused the pirate. “We were boardin’ a trader ship, pistols blastin’ and swords swingin’ this way and that. In the fracas me hand got chopped off.”

“Zounds!” remarked the sailor. “And how came ye by the eye patch?”

“A seagull droppin’ fell into me eye,” answered the pirate.

“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” the sailor asked incredulously.

“Well…” said the pirate, “It was the first day with me hook….”

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