Black Friday Body Count: Some People Try Shoplifting. It Goes Poorly

I don’t know why more people don’t try the shoplifting thing on Black Friday. I mean it’s not exactly known as a time of year when security is at its best, so you’d think it might be a little easier provided nobody beats you up and takes what you’re taking. I don’t know if that’s …

Black Friday Body Count: Sometimes The One Who Brings A Knife To A Gunfight Wins

Remember, it’s not just merchandise and a good spot in line that are worth fighting over on this most joyous of trumped up holidays. After all, if you can’t park, you can’t do either of those things. Sheriff Brian Hieatt tells WVVA it happened in the Walmart parking lot. He says two men, 61-year-old Ronnie …

Black Friday Body Count: Canadian Black Friday Is Lame, As Is Fighting Over TVs

Good morning everyone, and welcome to the annual shopping craze that’s sweeping the United States and because we have to do everything they do but with the sad and lame factor cranked up to 11, Canada. Yes, it’s Black Friday. And yes, we have it in Canada now. I don’t know what it’s like in …

Did He Ask For It Back?

If you remember the story a friend sent in about the fellow who used an electric toothbrush on the end opposite to that which the good lord intended, you might enjoy this guy livetweeting his trip to the ER for the removal of a vibrating dildo, complete with photos and life lessons. Life Lesson: When …

3 Seats To A Row: For When Groping One Woman On Your Flight Just Isn’t Enough

What’s better than sexually assaulting one woman on an airplane? Well, if you’re Saurabh Agarwal and the FBI is telling the truth, the answer is trying to sexually assault two women on an airplane. In a sworn affidavit, FBI Agent David Wiegand reported that “R.C.L” was seated next to Agarwal on American Airlines Flight 1142, …

It’s Not Like These Things Ever Get Old, So Here Are The Best News Bloopers Of 2012

Since for whatever reason today seems to be a day for digging up fun things from last year, have nearly 14 minutes of 2012’s best news bloopers. The first clip has trouble written all over it from the get go, the last one will make you do the headdesk thing, and in between there’s all …