Do they Have Taco Bell In England? That Might Explain the Fire Extinguisher Part, At Least

They don’t come right out and say it, but I think it’s a good bet that alcohol may have been a factor during Joseph Small’s hotel stay. Those fire extinguisher hoses don’t just put themselves in there, after all.

Joseph Small, 20, threw his clothes off and grabbed the appliance from the fourth floor of the budget Leicester Square hotel.

He then rammed the hose between his buttocks and began touching himself, Westminster Magistrates’ Court heard.

Small also urinated on the carpet and a lift door before having to be escorted down to reception by a member of staff who wrapped him in a towel.

He then hurled abuse at the Bangladeshi man, barking at him: “This country has been taken over by Al-Qaeda – go back to Pakistan.”

While in the hotel lobby Small again urinated on the carpet in front of stunned tourists shouting proudly: “I come from Sheffield in England.”

He also fired off a bit of racism and some insults at 3 police officers, calling one “Turkish”, another “Romanian” and the third a”paedo”. How the heck do you racially slur a Romanian, anyway? I’m asking for a friend.

Small apologized for the damage and offense he caused, adding that he doesn’t remember any of it.

He was given a nine-month supervision order, which I believe would be England’s equivalent to probation. He was also sentenced to a 10 PM to 6 AM curfew for 5 weeks.

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