All Thumbs And No Clothes

Last Updated on: 14th January 2014, 09:24 am

Neal Marshall may want to think twice the next time he feels like texting and driving. Then again, that’s a lot to ask of a guy who appears incapable of thinking once.

The court heard how, on the afternoon of August 8, a HGV driver was driving on the M56 when he spotted Marshall steering his car while indecently touching himself.

He was naked and no-one else was in the car.

Prosecuting, Rob Youd said the HGV driver took the vehicle’s number plate which the police then used to contact the driver.

When interviewed by police, Marshall answered no comment.

Defending, Adrian Evans, said the facts of the case were ‘bizarre’ but that Marshall had been engaged in a ‘messaging conversation’ and got ‘carried away’.

“This does not excuse his actions but it goes a way to explain why he was seen doing it,” said Mr Evans.

No…no it doesn’t.

Evans also told the court that Marshall “bitterly regrets his actions” and that he “never intended to be seen by a member of the public.”

Yup, the old son of a bitch, I got caught defense.

Marshall was sentenced to a year of supervision and community service, double what he was given after being found guilty of the same thing in 2008.

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