Valentine’s Day is coming up, and if you’re anything like me, you have no idea what you’re getting your special someone. Or perhaps I should say you *had* no idea what to get your special someone, because there are now Mayor Rob Ford valentine cards. Yes, your shopping starts and ends right here.
There are pictures of them at that link, but if you’re like me and pictures don’t really help you, Scotty (their creator) was kind enough to email me a description and the captions. Pretty cool of him, I must say.
There are six versions, all with a cartoon likeness of the mayor and printed and cut out like the valentines that children handed out when I was in grade school.
1. It was probably in one of my drunken stupers when, I fell for you.
2. You’re like a Subway. I can’t afford you but I want you anyway.
3. Re-elect me as your Valentine. Mayor answer be yes!
4. I don’t let a damned streetcar delay this love, valentine.
5. Valentine, I’d take a crack at you.
6. I refuse to resign… my love for you!
Yes, you really can buy these. the info is also at the above link, which I’ll helpfully put here so you don’t have to go all the way back up there.