Now You’re Gonna Dye!

You know what’s weird? We’re coming off of a long holiday weekend, yet there somehow hasn’t been a single food assault story. How is that possib…ahh, here we are.

Police said they responded to reports of a fight inside a Wareman Avenue apartment and found a woman whose right eye was red and swollen. She told three officers that when accusing Goempel of cheating on her, he became agitated and began hurling eggs at her. He barricaded himself in the bedroom with an exercise machine against the door, police said.

Once officers got through the door, Goempel reached for a row of knives and swords atop his dresser. Police got him under control and took him to a cruiser, where they said he started yelling racist obscenities at one of the officers and then kicked another in the groin.

The evening started out as an Easter egg decorating party and the eggs were hard boiled, in case you were wondering.

Aaron Goempel is currently jailed and awaiting arraignment on charges of aggravated assault, which will fit nicely alongside what appear to be pending unrelated matters of harassment, prowling, assault and some traffic violations.

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