Sometimes I’m not sure what’s worse. Is it an idiot trying to come up with a good excuse for something, or an ever so slightly resourceful idiot paying just enough attention to his surroundings trying to come up with a good excuse for something?
Uh-oh. I think that cop just found the dog I left in the sweltering car. Ahh Christ, and I left that smelly ass gas can in there! Son of a…man, I’m hammered. If they see me like this, I’m screwed. No way I should be driving. I’m arrested for sure. What am I gonna do? Hmmmm…hey…wait a minute. Dog in car…he’s waiting for me! Yeah, that’s it. He’s waiting for me while I run into this here store to buy us some corn! And and and…he drove me here! Because look at me, should I be driving? Sober dog…drunk me…I’m doing the responsible thing! Yeah, that’ll totally work!
It didn’t, to the surprise of all but one person, I imagine.
That one person, 60-year-old Wesley Mark Terrell, has since been charged with animal cruelty and DUI.
His dog is now safely in the hands of animal control while the whereabouts of his corn, assuming he ever bought any, is unknown.