Update: In January 2015, Johnson plead no contest to charges of misdemeanor indecent exposure and criminal mischief. He was sentenced to a year’s probation and ordered to pay fines and costs totaling around $700. He was also ordered to stay away from Walmart. Obtaining stuffed horses elsewhere, however, is presumably a ok so long as …
Monthly Archives: November 2014
Fakesbook
This is all kinds of wrong. Sondra Arniquett (no idea why her name is spelled two different ways) is suing Drug Enforcement Administration agent Timothy Sinnigen, claiming that after an arrest in 2010, he used pictures and other personal information lifted from her seized cell phone to make a fake Facebook profile in the hopes …
Who’s Gonna Pull Us Over? We’ve Got All The Cars!
I want to believe Suburban Auto Body President Dennis O’Connell Jr. when he says that nobody from his shop did anything wrong because honestly, what kind of idiots would be idiot enough to drag race the marked police cars they were supposed to be working on through town, right? But if I am to take …
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They Should Apply For A Permit To Move Their House 6 Feet
11-year-old Jon Lawson has to walk 40 minutes to school each day because a change to the calculations used by Durham County Council in the UK means that his house falls 6 feet outside of the you get a free bus pass limit. That’s a bit silly and it sucks for a family that’s going …
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These Bracelets Look A Lot Like Handcuffs
Some people can sleep through anything. Loud noises, commotion, the getaway half of their own robbery… The Sarasota County Sheriff’s Office said they were responding to a burglary call Monday at a residence in Nokomis, Fla., when they found Dion Davis, 29, asleep on a bed next to a bag of stolen jewelry. A cleaning …
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I Lost My Poor Meatball, So I Stabbed The No Good Son Of A…
We’ve got us a stabbing over a stolen meatball. Yes, a single, solitary meatball. Deputies were called around 11:10 a.m. to the business in the 2300 block of Belair Road, where they learned there had been an argument over one employee eating the other’s meatball from his lunch, Sheriff’s Office spokesperson Cristie Kahler said. An …
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McLaw Is Both This Poor Guys Last Name And A Reference To The People Who Investigated Him
There are updates to this story, but neither of them make it sound very much less like Patrick McLaw got arrested and held for anything more than writing a book that used school shootings as a plot point. School shootings in the 30th century, I should add. School shootings that are condemned in the book, …
Our Time Is Up! No, We’ve Got Plenty Of It
The package was left unattended on the third floor of the Hall of Administration building, according to the Los Angeles Police Department. An employee found the package addressed to someone in her office and placed it on a desk. After hearing beeping coming from the package, she notified deputies and security inside the building. Five …
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What Do You Call A Person Who Assaults People?
No, that’s not the start of a bad joke. We’re actually curious. Carin and I were having breakfast and chatting as usual when I made a comment that somebody was “a rapist at worst and an…assaulter? at best.” It occurred to us that if there’s a word for someone who commits assaults, neither of us …
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Throwing Peters…In Jail
This is…different. Police in West Allis, a city outside Milwaukee, opened a criminal investigation last month when two 14-year-old girls reported that a male driver left a “giant purple dildo” in their path as they walked home one afternoon from a local park. The man was “just sitting there staring at them from his car …
