I can’t remember how long it’s been since we’ve reported on somebody gnoshing on a police car, but today we give a big ‘ol VC hello to Staci Anne Spence, who has just set the clock back to zero.
The fun began when Spence, for reasons known only to her and possibly her victims, doused a couple with pepper spray as they slept in a van during the early hours of a Thursday morning a few short months ago. Police were called, Spence was identified and some deputies were sent to her home to arrest her for battery.
Upon their arrival, the officers were greeted by, and I’m quoting here, “profanity, racial slurs and uncooperativeness.” I love that whoever wrote that sentence felt that uncooperativeness needed inclusion, as though we’re usually greeted by profanity, racial slurs and a general sense of calm and good will. Or maybe uncooperativeness is just a quicker way of saying that Spence was able to get away from two of the cops and kick a third before finally being restrained.
And it was then that the hunger pangs kicked in, apparently.
She was put in leg restraints and placed on her stomach in the back of a deputy’s sport utility vehicle.
Upon arriving at the Bonner County Jail, deputies discovered that Spence had chewed through the seat’s upholstery and into the foam cushioning, the affidavit said. Replacing the Chevrolet Tahoe’s seat was estimated at more than $2,000.
Spence has been charged with malicious injury to property for chewing on the Chevy, battery for the spraying, battery on a law officer because you’re not supposed to kick those, driving under the influence (I guess she drove to the scene of the original assault?) and resisting arrest. Bail was set at $32000.
It was also noted that this wasn’t the first time that Spence had been arrested in fine fashion. When she was hauled in earlier in the year, police say that not only was she combative with them, but she also whipped out a beer and drank it once they got her into the police car. It’s not known if she was using it to wash down a chair in that case.