All Aboard The Excrement Express

I’ve thankfully never had it done to me or felt the need to do it to anyone else, but leaving bags of crap on the doorsteps of those who have wronged you is, for some reason, a thing that people do. And now, rather than getting your own hands dirty or risk getting caught, you can have somebody do it by mail for you.

For a mere $16.95, ShitExpress.com will send a container of horse shit anonymously to anywhere in the world on your behalf. For real. It advertises itself as “a simple way to send a piece of shit in a box around the world,” and that’s apparently exactly what it is. Reviews don’t lie …usually. I don’t quite understand how they get it through the mail, but there are a lot of things I don’t understand about the mail so I’m not going to ask a whole lot of questions.

Imagine all the people who annoy you the most.
An irritating colleague. School teacher. Your ex-wife. Filthy boss. Jealous neighbour. That successful former classmate. Or all those pesky haters.

What if you could send them a smelly surprise?
There is nothing that could replace the expression on the recipient’s face after opening the box!

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6 comments
  1. Now I have Pat Godwin’s “You can be mean to me” in my head. Damn you. Isn’t that who did it? You know the song I’m talking about.

  2. Interesting. That fancy embed thing that WordPress does doesn’t work in comments.

    1. I knew I would get it wrong. Something was going “incorrect!” but could I stop? Nooo!

      And hey is the some posts a computer thinks you may enjoy heading reading funny for you on this post anyway?

      1. Nope. Looks fine here. What’s it doing?

        1. sometimes it reads as a silent spot, sometimes it reads as SSome posts a computer thinks you may enjoy.

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