Parton Parcel

As defenses go, this is one.

A man on trial for indecently exposing himself to a neighbour claims she mistook a novelty rubber replica for his real penis. A jury at Bolton Crown Court has to decide if 52-year-old Eric Parton was playing a prank on next-door neighbour Alison Burdaky with a fake penis or whether he indecently exposed himself to her.

Giving evidence, Mrs Burdaky told prosecution counsel Brian McKenna that relations between her family and Parton, who lives in the adjoining semi-detached property, have not been good. But on Sunday October 20 at 9.30pm, when she went upstairs to close her bedroom curtains, she looked out of the window and saw Parton on his drive next to a parked van. β€œHe had his penis in his hand and was waving it around,” she said. β€œI was shocked, obviously,” she said, adding that her husband Carl ran out of the house after Parton as he drove off.

It was then that Parton’s lawyer, who’s name appropriately enough for a case like this is Mark Friend, posited the rubber junk theory. Burdaky was having none of it though, for one very simple reason. Unlike the replica that was being passed around in court, what she had seen that night had been “flopping about.”

Parton’s case was further damaged by evidence suggesting that he was unwilling to provide particulars for the pal who purportedly purchased the package, nor would he produce it after several requests from law enforcement that he whip it out to help his story along.

The trial, at last word, continues.

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